Ever wondered how some people continuously strive forward like nothing affects them? They somehow gather that energy and it motivates you to strive forward too.
This is a short tale of a woman, whom so many people used to admire and look up to when they did not feel strong enough. She was a woman almost in her thirties, took up an executive program in management, was holding a job and was carrying a baby.
Ever wondered if people who strive forward do not have any vulnerabilities or if they ever break down due to perhaps a burn out, how they are as a person in other surroundings when around her family or relatives or friends or colleagues?
The first day in post graduate course, in the inauguration she volunteers to sing; alright, a pro-active one we all assumed. Then classes started, she used to come prepared, ask the right questions, and probably studious we assumed. As the days progressed, we got to know she is a working mum, with a kid already at home (a feisty and naughty one at that); which in itself takes a huge chunk of your energy. Then the exams came, and she used to score like crazy. It put most of the bachelors and the guys who almost take up almost no household chores to shame. Why? Well, one reason is probably the guilt of having wasted time instead of studying, may be.
A few months down the line we got to know she had planned for a second kid and had already conceived. But wait, we had one more than a year left to study, she was working, she already had to take care of a kid. So much negativity. But even during this period, she was a top performer. She did quit her job eventually, after all everyone has a physical limit. But, dare we comment, she came to write few of her exams, the very weekend before the day she was supposed to deliver the kid. Here we were, much younger, struggling to get out of bed early to just make it to the exams over the weekend on time.
Superficially, you think, may be people who strive forward are privileged, have no hurdles etc. and very less of it is hard work, determination etc, Some think, they never break or need maintenance.
A girl baby was born, and she was right back to class a few weeks later. She used to be the teacher’s favorite, for all the good reasons; not the people-pleaser kind. She just performs and ensures to build and maintain good relationships with everyone like it was 2nd nature. Remember I had told you, she had to quit work; well now a few additional troubles were sighted. Her husband got sick very close to the end of the course and had to get operated, a minor surgery; but for a while wasn’t able to head to work and had already resigned. A very strained relationship with the in-laws almost wreaking havoc to mental peace and finally not one but two kids to manage and a course to complete.
Do you ever notice that only people close to someone are even mildly aware of what struggles and hardships they go through to reach where they are. Even, the time and effort that went into becoming who they are, it is that inner circle who truly can acknowledge a person for who they truly are and not superficially assume things as noted above.
She started to look for a job, but she had a break in her career and most companies are quite disrespectful and non-empathetic of that. Much is yet to change on that front. She had to find a job, to be able to get out of her house primarily for peace of mind; regain that sense of independence and responsibility, build a career and not loose herself to the stereotypical ideology of a home maker (much is yet to change on that front to). Meanwhile, she worked hard, taking care of the kids, and managing to score really high scores and getting the best student award. She got a job later on, kids had grown up a bit; the hubby got operated, and I was by her side whenever possible which was an honor than a favor.
He recovered and having worked at an executive level, had no trouble getting back to work; however, it took a while for his health took a long time to recover. until then, she managed the house hold, worked, took care of her husband and text book definition of a super mom? Yeah, she did participate in a few runs to; probably an over achiever of sorts. So a few adjectives to describe the kind of person she is before I start to wrap this up; brave, courageous, hard-working, meticulous, studious, empathetic, sympathetic, role-model, intelligent, wise so on and so forth.
Now to conclude as a person in her inner circle. During these times, she used to have cycles of depression, fatigue, tiredness; it used to show in her eyes, eventually in her body and general health; very rarely did she confide anything, but she didn’t have to say it out loud. It used to hurt a little sometimes, that it showed so much, but she used to not be ready to talk about it but you know she is struggling more than what she is portraying. I used to make myself available whenever possible, which was actually rare because she used to manage somehow, no one completely knows how. She just found some reserve of strength and squeezed every bit of it. She used to be there for you when you needed as well. On the professional front, she used to be available for everyone to clear queries during an exam, connecting people for networking and so on.
So, while the inner circle knows a lot more of what their members really go through; and may be it is sometimes good for the other people to look past this and witness only the success and not know entirely about the all struggles. This could may be, help them look up to such people who strive forward continually, without prejudice and use that as inspiration and motivation to strive themselves forward.
“Not All Heroes Wear Capes”; some are beside you; for some, you may be one, you never know. Try to do your best, connect with people, and know that it is okay to fall sometimes, but you need to find the strength and drive to get up, dust yourself up and strive forward; for such is life, a path plentiful of obstacles and diversions which could be lucky to deadly. But strive forward, for you could be a reason for someone to else to strive forward.
Be Good, Do Good, Live Long and Prosper.